The Narrow Gate

Dear believer,

You are in a state of undulation with your faith because you haven't really decided. I know it seems to you that you have but I pray the spirit opens your eyes to see the truth as you read the words I write.

In my pursuit to follow Jesus, to believe, to really be a "Christian", I always had seasons of milk and honey followed by seasons of dry spells. I am sure you have too, especially early in your walk. There was always the one day you were too tired to pray, that turned into 3 months. There was always that one day you were too tired to read your word, and it turned into 6 months. There was that one party/club you didn't think was a big deal to go to. There was that one boyfriend/girlfriend who was not a believer. The fall often starts with a mustard seed- as faith does. This occurred so frequently in my walk, I started to believe this was a normal part of faith. It is and is not- more on this later.

It wasn't until I decided with everything I have that following Jesus was more valuable than anything else that I came to really follow.

Here is how you can tell you haven't decided; if you can see any value or worth in sinful things, you haven't decided.

If you can say, I am a Christian BUT…[insert a wordily pleasure], you haven’t decided.

I do not think giving up worldly pleasures is easy by any means nor is it something that occurs magically in the acceptance of Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Nevertheless, the acceptance of Jesus necessitates the rejection of the world. Jesus meets us where we are but it's our decision to WANT to stop because we see no value in it that propels his power to strengthen us into becoming a new creature.

We have to see no value in it.

If we want to stop because we know it's bad- that's great. But in the spirit of honestly, it won't work, and you know it won't work because you've prayed about it since you were 8 and it won't go away. You see, we actually have to decided that following Christ is more advantageous, more valuable, more desirable than masturbating. As Paul put it, "whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ.'" Philippians 2: 7-8

It isn't until you notice the pattern you have been living in- that you wake up to realize, you aren't living. You aren't in control and you aren't happy. How do you find Jesus?

I found Jesus by looking for his love under every man, every friend, every job, every paycheck, every iPhone, every selfie and every opinion- but coming up empty handed and empty.

He says it plainly, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

I am not writing this to discourage you, but to encourage you. Take a moment to look at your life honestly, what have you put in competition with or in front of your pursuit for Jesus? Bring it to him, open your heart and tell him.

In your shame, don't hide from him as Adam did. He will restore you. What does it mean to belong to Jesus? It means to be alive. I truly believe, until you choose him, you will never truly be in order.

"Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14